


then what do you want to be ?

by nosniam



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Road Trip, Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff, Humor, M/M, changbin being felix "mentor", i have no idea what this is tbh, it's my first fic be indulgent
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-06
Updated: 2018-04-20
Packaged: 2019-04-19 09:52:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,036
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14234709
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nosniam/pseuds/nosniam
Summary: Felix is getting bullied at school because of his poor korean . When he decides to skip Korean Literature once again , Changbin follows him , with the idea of getting the Aussie boy out of his shellI suck at summaries but i promise this is good( also changbin is 18 in this fic )( contains swearing )





	1. I

« Oh my god . There he is . Oh my god what do i do , Chris what do I – OH HE’S COMING RIGHT HERE CHRIS HIDE ME PLEASE HELP »

Chris sights deeply as I push him . I have the biggest crush on this guy , Changbin , since I arrived in this school a few months ago .

«  I have to go . Try not to faint if he sits next to you in math , i don’t have the time to go grab you at the nursery once again » , he says as he leaves me in the high school hall .

I grab my stuff in my locker , and go to the said math classroom . Class starts in 10 minutes , so i have a bit of time .

I don’t have many friends . My parents moved to Korea only a few months ago , and my korean is really not the best . My classmates often make fun of me for my accent and my grammatical mistakes , so i just don’t speak to anyone and try to stay as quiet as i can . Chris is my cousin , and even if he is fluent in korean , he’s a busy freelance producer and can’t help me a lot , even if he is driving me to school everyday to impress the bully since the day they tried to steal my bag pack .

I open my math textbook and try to study . Apart from English , Math is probably the class i am the best at , since it doesn’t require much language skills .

Then He enters the classroom . Confident , popular , handsome : Changbin is all what i wish for . He catches me staring , and I blink as i look away , praying that he wasn’t blushing .

Some guy shouts something at me – i don’t understand what he said , so i just look down and hope it wasn’t something too offensive . As the bully’s friend starts laughing , Changbin shouts back . This time , i understand . Changbin shouted “ Hey , don’t say that ! You’re so mean with him , why do you say that ? ”

I start blush so hard I can feel my cheeks warming . Nobody ever stood up for me since i enlisted in this school . But this time , someone did . And that someone was Changbin .

He turns to me and says, in an adorably broken english : “ Don’t … They mean . If they mean , go to me , okay ?” 

I nod. Changbin smiles briefly , and seems hesitating for a second before turning away .

The teacher arrives in the classroom and every student focus on their math textbook . I’m ordinary a good and attentive student , but this time , I can’t stop renacting what Changbin said to me . 

The fact that he stood up for me , made the effort to talk to me in english . Would that mean … Would that mean Changbin actually cares about me ? No way . My heart can’t bear it .

The math class ends without me memorizing anything .  
As I leave the classroom to go to the library , I hear someone yell my name . I’m used to people yelling my name in the hallway , usually it’s some stupid kid who asks me to “do the kangaroo” , so i do what i always do : i put my headphones on and walk as fast as i can .

But this time , the stupid kid continues to shout my name . I turn the volume up , walk a bit faster , praying for the library to be open so i can hide between the shelves .

I’m getting seriously tired of all of this bullying . It all started because of my bad korean , but i’ve improved a lot , and they started bullying me on other subject : my hair , my “poor” background , my bad grades , even my deep voice . I’d really like to say that I didn’t care , that I just ignored them , but since I had no friends , they were the only social interaction I had – and when the only thing people tell you is that you’re not worthy of the school you’re in , your mental health is not at its best .

“Wait until they find out i’m gay” . It’s probably the only thing that could make this bullying even worse . It’s also one more reason to never ever talk to Changbin at school .

I turn back . The kid stopped following me , wich is good . But I am apparently in the third story hallway , wich is bad , considering I have no idea how to go my Korean Literature classroom .

I ask a few younger student , who look at me as I was an alien and just laugh as they walk by .  
A-fucking-mazing .

I run up the stairs all the way to the rooftop . I was going to skip Korean Literature anyway – the teacher hates me . He always brings up the fact that I don’t know half of the mandatory books or makes me read out loud when my pronunciation is clearly not the best . 

I sit and let the wind shuffle through my hair . Silence . It’s so refreshing . I was about to call Chris on my phone when I remember he thought I was in class – and I told him I was going to try to get better grades . How ironic that Christopher Bang asks me to have better grades , when he dropped out of college to pursue his producer carrier !

No , that’s mean to think . Chris is an amazing producer , and he left while being the top student in musicology class . Me , on the other hand , was not able to continue dancing when I moved to Korea , and I already feel my lack of training.

I lay down and watch the sky . It is really , really cold , but eh , I have an aesthetic going .

The door opens suddenly . I jump on my feet and run , before realizing I have nowhere to hide . 

Fuck .

It was probably a teacher . I was going to get yelled at . And since it wasn’t my first time skipping class , I was probably going to get detention .

I hear the person inhaling before opening their mouth . I fall on my knees and start muttering :  
“ no , please , I just got lost , I promise I was going to go to class , I just …”

“Hey , stop that . Get up . I’m not a teacher .”

I stand up . Changbin is here . I notice that he is smaller than me – since I never got that close to him , I didn’t realized that .  
I burst out laughing . It really looks like a cheesy romance anime scene . The two lovers on the rooftop . It just needs a few cherry blossoms , and it would have been perfect .

“Why are you laughing ? Is it because i’m small ? it’s not funny !” Yells Changbin – but his credibility was seriously altered by the fact that he , too , was pissing himself .

He takes a deep breath as he calms his laugh .

“Oh , god , you’re so cute .”

I freeze . What ? 

I’m … cute ?

Changbin .. Called me cute ?

Holy fuck . That is not good .


	2. II

“ Hey , you okay ?” Changbin asks . I realize I lost my smile . 

Ironic , when all what I want to do right now is to jump around , call Chris to yell in my phone “ HE CALLED ME CUTE !” and shove my head in a pillow to contain my distressed screaming .

I smile . “ Yeah . And , uh … You’re pretty cute , too .”

Changbin licks his lips and smiles back . Oh my god .

“Let’s go, huh ? Did you ever went to the coffee shop nearby ?  
\- But I have Korean Lite-  
\- Oh , come on . You weren’t going to go anyway , right ?  
\- … Right .”

 

I am walking in the streets of Seoul , with Changbin at my side , and we’re going to a coffee shop . Is that a date ? I don’t know . But I feel my heart racing so fast in my chest – seriously , a little chock and I would probably faint .

We don’t talk much , but it’s not an akward silence . Changbin is taking me to a part of the city I never saw – despite being near our school . I usually don’t hang out in the neighborhood after class , I just race right back at home as soon as the last period ends .

We sit in this cute little coffee shop . It has wooden chairs , porcelain mugs , pastel colors – it really looks like a british tearoom . I never thought Changbin would like that kind of things .

He orders a black coffee , I took a hot chocolate – my heart is already bumping out of my chest and caffeine might just make me explode .

“So” , he starts , sipping his coffee . “What were you doing up there ?”

“I … I don’t know . I didn’t wanted to go to Korean Literature , so I went on the roof . I guess I liked the view .”

Changbin took an other sip - I lowkey hate me for thinking this , but he did really look like Daesung in that BigBang drama parody .

“And why did you skipped Korean Liter- oh wait , I don’t want to sound like a teacher . But … You shouldn’t skip classes .

\- I don’t really have a choice . The teacher doesn’t like me.

\- How are you going to pass tests , then ?

\- I won’t . I don’t know . It’s not like I have a chance to get in a good college anyway , huh ?

\- You could become an english teacher .

\- I don’t want to be a teacher .

\- Then what do you want to be ?”

I stared at him . What do I want to be ? 

Good question . I had no idea . But obviously , I wasn’t going to say that .  
Who would ? Having no idea of what you want to be in life is not cool . It’s not interesting .

I shrugged .

“Do you want to drop high school ?

\- I don’t know . I just … I don’t know . I don’t have a …

\- You have a choice . Stop saying you don’t .

\- It’s easy to say that ! You’re … You’re popular , you speak fluent korean , you have good grades . You have a choice . I arrived here three months ago , I can barely speak , I’m probably the worst student of the whole school , and everybody wants me gone . And they’re right . I don’t have a place . I don’t belong here .”

Changbin puts his mug down . I realize a bit late that i’m shaking . Why did I told him all of this ? He barely knows me .

Great job , Felix ! Now he probably thinks i’m some sort of spoiled crybaby .

“ Hey . Don’t say that .”

I don’t look up . Why does he have to be so nice ? Everything would be ten times easier if he just kept ignoring me .

He sights .

“You know , spring break starts soon . We could meet often , i’ll help you with Literature .

\- I don’t want to bother …  
\- I proposed it . I wouldn’t have if I knew you would be a burden . If you want , you can help me with English .”

I nod . 

We start talking lightheartedly while sipping our drinks . Changbin explains how he wants to study music after high school , and how he wants to get into rap freestyle battles , but is too shy to try . I tell him about Chris , and give him his number . 

I avoid talking about myself – first , because I don’t want to seem whiny , and also because i’m uninteresting . But Changbin insists , and I end up telling him how I was in a dance crew , in Sydney , that I obviously had to leave when my parents moved to Seoul .   
His eyes open wide when I mention how I want to dance again .

“ I have friends who dance ! I don’t know if you heard of them , Hyunjin and Minho ?

\- I think I saw them rehearsing” , I admit . Truth was , I actually used to spy on them when I first got into this school . But they caught me , once , and since then I avoided them as much as I could .

Changbin brings me back to school about an hour after . Since it’s break , nobody notice our entrance and we’re able to sneak in without any troubles . 

For once , I walk in the hallways without fear . With Changbin by my side , the bullies will probably not try to attack me , right ? Changbin is pretty popular .

He does get some disgusted and disapproving looks , though , but he seems not to care . I wish I could be as chill .

Changbin leads me to my classroom , and before he turns around to go his own class , he pats my shoulder and puts a folded paper in my hand . He smiles , looks around , and says , a bit loudly : 

“Yeah , here are the korean books I told you about , tell me if you can’t find them !”

I can barely thank him before he disappears . I unfold the paper . It’s obviously not a list of korean books . This is , written with a messy handwriting and a smudgy ink , Seo Changbin’s phone number .


	3. III

I’m rolling in my bed as I think about all what happened today.

What should I do ? Should I text Changbin ? We didn’t even talked much. It was mainly small talk , but not the awkward type – I just let Changbin talk and nodded along. I’m not really good at keeping a conversation in general, and although he used simple sentences and vocabulary , talking in korean for a whole hour would’ve been hard.

I grab my phone and finally decides to text him .

“Hi ! it’s me , Felix ! You gave me your number but I didn’t gave you mine , so here it is ^^”

Simple , right ? Maybe it’s a bit too joyful .

“Hi , it’s felix , you have my number now !”

no , that is way too short and cold . God , it’s a simple text , why is it so complicated ?

I hear someone knocking on my door . Chris enters the room before I can give him the permission.

“ So , what’s up ? You’ve been all smiling when I brought you back from school. You got a good grade ?

\- No. Changbin brought me to a cofee shop and gave me his number.

\- He brought you to a cofee shop ? You had a busy schedule today , he made you skip class ?

\- No ! I skipped myself , he just saw me and proposed to go in a cofee shop. He also defended me against a bully .

\- So when is the wedding ?”

The look I gave him made him lost his mocking smile .

“Oh , come on . I’m happy for you . But , you know … You should focus on -

\- He said he was going to help me study during spring break ! he’s even going to present me to the dance club guys .”

Chris purse his lips . I expected him to worry anyways . But I know he doesn’t want to hurt me- he really just wants me to study and be successful at school .

“Could you please … Not tell my parents ?

\- Of course . Don’t worry about that . And that’s cool for the dance team , let me know if you get in ! You might want some custom beats to dance on !”

I smile as he leaves my room . I don’t have any siblings , and chris has always been here for me when my parents were busy .   
One of the few positive things about my own parents moving to Korea was to be able to see him and talk to him daily again , especially with my parents being super busy with work- the main reason they had to move to korea was because the company they both work wanted to open a branch there , and since they already had contacts in Seoul , they were chosen to supervise the project . Therefore , chris is basically always at our place , because he doesn’t want me to feel too alone .

I go back to writing my text .

“ Hi , it’s felix . Thanks for today , it was nice talking to you !”

I read it a few times . It’s not like I can do better right ? If I overthink it , i’ll end up sending something really cringey .

I hit send and immediately close my phone . 

He’s probably not going to answer my text right away . He probably has a lot of things to do- and so do I , actually . I grab my korean workbook and sit at my desk . 

Unsurprisingly , I can’t focus . So much things happened today , and I actually spoke korean a lot , my brain doesn’t seem to want to absorb any more information .

My phone vibrates , and I literally jump to my bed to grab it .

It’s a text from Changbin .

“ Hi Felix ! It was nice talking to you too :)”

as I shakily start to type an answer , my phone buzzes again and a new text appears on screen .

“ oh and I told hyunjin and minho about you ! They caught you spying on them aha , but they want to see you dance ! Do you think you’ll be free tomorrow , after lunch ? I can go with you if you want !”

I can’t help but squeal . Changbin did thought about me . What he said – about helping me with korean and presenting me to his friends – were actually not meaningless promises he made to make me feel better . He really meant it !

I type my answer the fastest I can .

“ Omg yes ! It would be amazing , thank you ! Should I prepare something ?”

he answers seconds later .

“ oh no aha , it’s just their casual rehearsal . They want to see if your style fits them :) oh and minho’s friend will be there too , is that ok ?”

“ yes , it’s definitely ok ! Thank you again , it really means a lot to me !”

My heart bumps so fast . I dreamed of actually speaking to changbin for such a long time , it just seems so unreal to casually text him like that . I can’t help but wonder , what made him defend me and talk to me all of a sudden ? Even yesterday , he didn’t payed any attention to me . But i’m not going to complain , of course : my crush talking to me is the best thing to happen .

 

Despite having homeworks and changbin telling me I don’t need to prepare , I spend the rest of the evening stretching and training . I didn’t lost that much flexibility apparently , and it’s for the best . I lost precision and strength , though , and it is so frustrating not be able to dance like I used to .  
What if Minho and Hyunjin don’t want me ? What if I embarrass myself in front of Changbin ?  
Well , I already embarrased myself in front of changbin multiples times , but this time is different…

What if I disappoint him ?


End file.
